From childhood, many of us are bombarded by statements and comments that are not very nice. Whether they be from peers or family members, there are some things that are said that can have a hurtful impact for your whole life. Some people have never heard a compliment from their mother nor an “I love you” from their father.
The juvenile notion that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is just that; a naive belief. Because in reality words have impact; the words we speak matter. The Bible says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue” and even if your aren’t religious, these words hold truth. We have the power to uplift someone or tear them down just with the words we say. We have the power to nourish a dream or to suffocate it.
This is why we need to speak words of truth and hope, not only to ourselves but to others around us We don’t always know a person’s struggles, but we have the ability to be positive force in their lives.
Here are 20 things we need to say more often, to others and to ourselves:
1. I love you.
These three simple words hold so much meaning inside of them. Not only can they represent a parent’s love for a child but also a love between spouses. The affirmation is much deeper than fondness and much more intimate than attraction. Many people shy away from these words for fear of rejection or complication or because they just never heard them much as a child. But let’s make an effort to say “I Love You” more.
2. I believe in you.
You have the ability to be someone’s champion. There are a lot of people who find it hard to see the good in themselves. They are filled with self-doubt but you can make a difference in the way they approach life.
3. You’re worthy. You deserve it.
As unfortunate as it may be, there are many people who are insecure, low on self-worth and self-esteem. They have grown up hearing negative words thrown at them constantly and over time, they have believed them. They are unable to take compliments, accept gifts or celebrate accomplishments because they don’t believe they deserve it. Help them to realize that they do deserve all the good things that come their way. They are indeed worth it.
4. The best is yet to come.
Bouncing back from disappointment, rejection and heartbreak can be a difficult thing. Most people are not in the frame of mind to think positively. But you can offer the reminder that the best is yet to come. What they were seeking may not have been the best thing for them. When one door closes, another one opens. Your best is on it’s way!
5. Stay positive
Again, life is hard, man. Sometimes there are so many ups and downs you think you are on a rollercoaster ride. And then there are times where you are just down, with no “up” in sight. Whatever the situation, we must remain positive. Speak positivity to your friends and family and to yourself. Don’t give up.
6. I was wrong. I’m sorry.
These are some of the hardest words a person can say, especially when they never can admit their wrongdoings. But self-evaluation is a healthy part of life. Sometimes we do things intentionally and we feel like the other person over-reacted. We don’t want to apologize but admitting that your have wronged or hurt someone builds character. Learn to apologize.
Why is it so hard for some people to ask for help? Are you one of those people? No one lives in this world alone and it is inevitable that at some point in time your will need assistance in some task or the other. There is nothing wrong with asking another person for help. No man is an island!
8. How can I help?
On the flip side, there is nothing wrong with offering help. Some of us are so quick to take, take, take and are never willing to be there for someone else. We are so ready to rely on others but never avail ourselves to return the favor. We need to stop focusing on self do much and see the needs of others.
9. I’m here for you when you want to talk.
Some times in offering help, we just need to make ourselves available. It’s not every time a person will ask you to do something. Often times they just need a listening ear. There are so many people struggling with mental health issues who feel they have no one to talk to so the struggle with their problems on their own. Be there for your loved ones, even if they just nee to talk.
10. You can do it.
Yes, you can! Be a cheerleader for those in need of support. Some people are surrounded by so much negativity; others telling them they can’t do or accomplish something. You can be the one to cheer them on.
11. You’ve got this and God’s got you.
Continue to share positive thoughts. Not only can you do this, but you are going to own it. Going to an interview? You’ve got this! Going to ask for a bank loan? You’ve got this! Starting a new job? You’ve got this! There’s nothing that you, with the help of God, cannot accomplish.
12. Please forgive me.
Forgiveness is so essential to good mental health and yet people struggle with asking for it and doing it. Asking for forgiveness, puts you in a place of humility. You have wronged that individual and now you have come to them to make things right. Stepping down off your pedestal and being humble goes a long way in resolving an issue.
13. I forgive you.
Now it is your turn. Someone has placed themselves in a humble state, and has requested your forgiveness. You now have a choice to make. Do you continue to hold on to any hurt, pain, anger or distrust or do you let it go. Let it be known though that the individual has done his or her part but if u continue to hold a grudge, not only do you put of truly healing but you expose yourself to prolonged mental torment.
14. I’ve got your back.
This one is quite simple. I am here for you!
15. I’m open to your feedback. Make me better.
Opening yourself to criticism without being offended is a difficult feat but positive feedback does have its benefits. Try not to take the remarks to heart but welcome the advice and see ways to improve yourself. Some people are not being malicious in their critiques but rather genuinely want you to reach your full potential.
16. You’re not alone.
Loneliness is directly correlated to depression. There ate some people who feel lonely even when surrounded by a crowd and there are some people who pretend well. You can be a true friend to the most unlikely person. Show genuine interest in their lives and their wellbeing. Ask questions and offer solutions. Let them know they are not alone in their struggles.
17. Even if we disagree, we can still be friends.
This is a lesson that we all need to learn. If you look on the global scene, you will find that even in the political arena, grown men and women are missing the mark on this. Disagreements will happen between the best of friends but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. It doesn’t mean the civility goes out the window.
18. You matter.
This is a tough pill to swallow for some people as they honestly believe that they don’t matter. Some have been forced into silence; to believe their opinions and contributions don’t matter. They begin to spiral and adopt the belief that the world will continue whether they are here or not. But the truth is that everyone matters. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t matter. And if you don’t matter to others, at least you matter to me.
19. Thank you.
Another simple phrase that seems to be forgotten. A simple thank you is all it takes to show your appreciation. Let someone know you are grateful for their help, for their contributions, for their mere presence in your life.
20. There is greatness inside of you.
Positivity speaks volumes. Going hand in hand with the lack of self-worth, increased self-doubt and low self-esteem, is the belief that they are just not good or good enough. Be the one to speak faith and hope and life into that person.